The Great Creator
"The Creator did not know when to stop. There is not one pink flower, or even fifty pink flowers, but hundreds. Snowflakes, of course, are the ultimate exercise in sheer creative glee. No two alike. This creator looks suspiciously like someone who just might send us support for our creative ventures."
I love the idea of God's "sheer creative glee." The image springs to life in my mind: a great creative being, laughing uproariously, spinning, flinging an arm out like a wizard with a wand, hurling stars and worlds and living beings like sparks of light across the dark universe.
I found a beach this week I remember from my childhood. I gathered stones: a smooth white stone, perfect for "worrying" in my pocket, a jet-black stone worn smooth by the waves, a rose-colored stone with a peach stripe running round it, a rough-textured speckled stone, a green stone shaped like a heart. I found them all within easy reach as I sat on a log and watched the sun go down behind the misty San Juan Islands in the distance. My heart expanded.
And there are purple crocus blooming just outside my office window! The abundance of the world is mine--the wonder--but only when I take the time to stop and look.
Luxury
"Art is born in expansion, in a belief in sufficient supply..."
I gave my artist flowers this week--a pot of beautiful, deep rose miniature calla lilies I have sitting in front of a mirror near the desk where I work so their beauty is doubled. I gave my artist flowers for Valentine's Day!
Or was it my artist who gave them to me?
Counting
"Often our spending differs from our real values. We fritter away cash on things we don't cherish and deny ourselves those things we do."
I've never been one to fritter my money away--quite the opposite, as those of you who know me well can attest! Because I was thinking about the concepts in this chapter, I spent more this week than I normally do--but I was also more intentional in my spending. I purchased a mini-trampoline, something I've wanted since reading that using one could be helpful in preventing and even reversing osteoporosis. (That was months ago.) And I bought a new pole lamp for my living room with a reading light attached. (My old one stopped working weeks ago!) And I bought myself those calla lilies because they feed my soul...
Money Madness
"If I could afford it..."
I'd quit my job. How could a God as creative as the one I know want me to spend my life "making a living" in drudgery instead of "making a life" in sheer creative glee?
I've taken the risk at times in the past of quitting jobs that fed the body bit not the soul. So much synchronicity this week that seems to be leading me to that place again.... One very wonderful thing that happened this week was receiving an unexpected royalty check and payment for two freelance editing jobs that added up to more than my best month's paycheck from the job! And my 92-year-old mom, who doesn't remember things that happened and sometimes seems to remember things that DIDN'T happen, told me out of the blue about once quitting a job because she "just couldn't work for that man." As far as I know, this is not something that ever happened. Why would she say such a thing? Why now?
So the decision is made. Only the timing is still in question. Am I afraid? You bet I am!
MORNING PAGES, ARTIST DATES, EXERCISES AND TASKS
Morning pages are the one thing I've been completely consistent with. I haven't missed a morning since I started on January 3rd. They continue to be an incredibly powerful clarifying tool. "Money Madness" showed me where I've grown in my relationship to money and where I still need to grow. And you've already heard about my rich experience with Natural Abundance and my unexpected windfall. Again, why now? Is intentionality really that powerful? Very exciting!
What about you? Tell us about your experience with abundance this week. I hope you discovered resources you didn't realize you had. :-)
I missed checking in last week, but I’ve been reading everyone’s entries and continuing w/MPs and artist dates and tasks. Like some of you, I don’t do every single task, just the ones that seem useful or intriguing. I try to attempt the ones that are less appealing too, though, because while it may not seem helpful at the time, it can’t hurt to try. The more info the better.
ReplyDeleteI started the reading too late in the week to do the week-long expenditure tracking, but I will try to start that tomorrow. If we’re doing all this self-examination, looking at our attitudes about money seems pertinent. I am not looking forward to it because of the tedious nature of it, though. Bleah.
The last couple of days have been trying ones because my mother was here for a short visit. Seeing my parents age and change is difficult; we’ve always been close but I found myself heaving a guilty sigh of relief as Mom drove away this morning. Nearly everything she said or did was so annoying to me! I’m sure some of that should be chalked up to my getting more persnickety in MY old (“old”) age, but I don’t recall her habits and tendencies being so pronounced. It hasn’t happened overnight, but the changes are rapidly increasing as the months and years go by. It was the first time I was wishing my dad had accompanied my mom—usually visits without Dad are less stressful for us all.
Luckily I have three sons, a husband, a new job, a cat and a dog, and lots of laundry to otherwise occupy myself and not dwell on my mom’s changes.
I like Dianne’s artist date from last week’s check-in, making her visual journal. I will make that this week’s artist date. Last week’s was making valentines which I try to make every year anyway, but it was nice to have it kill two birds w/one stone this time. I’ve been trying to make birthday/greeting cards instead of purchasing ones from the store because I enjoy the creative outlet and the practical aspect helps justify the time and expense. I know, I know, we’re learning that we don’t have to justify our artistic endeavors, but it’s a hard habit to break.
Off to get creative with coupons at the grocery store,
k
Glad to hear from you again, Kay. And yes, the more info the better--I learn a lot from doing the tasks.
DeleteKay, I'm just starting my $$ tracking tomorrow too, for the same reason as you (read it too late in the week).
DeleteKay, yep, I'll be joining y'all with the $$ tracking this week too. Probably for the rest of the month! Keep up the good work!
DeletePam is on vacation and emailed her comment to have me post it for her. This from Pam:
ReplyDeleteMorning pages. Wow! I did them every day and we're on vacation too. I think one day, I wrote them late afternoon because we dashed off for exercise and breakfast out before going to the Date festival to see the Camel and Ostrich races, etc. I even got a massage -- which I had thought about when looking at the pampering ta. sk.
Artist Date -- I painted 2 - 3 hours.
Synchronicity? Unsure if I'd call it Synchronicity, but while waiting for a free concert (which was worth just that), the others I joined at the table were very interesting. We all had had good work and life experiences. Fun to share.
Issues. I was mad at Cary one morning and wrote my feelings in huge letters in my morning pages. Only vented there. No real problem to solve.
Again Barbara, thanks for coordinating TAW. I'm having fun with it AND learning a lot.
Pam W
Pam, I did the same thing the other day. I was angry at Tom and went off on him in my pages. He was never the wiser and actually I was able to see my part in the situation. I was completely diffused. Whew!
DeleteThe weeks go by so fast. I cannot believe I completely missed the check in for week five. When I first began T.A.W. 12 weeks seemed extremely long. At week six, I cannot believe we are half-way through. What will I do when it is over?
ReplyDeleteWeek Six has come and gone and I am not sure if I have recovered a sense of abundance, but I am willing to pursue the concept. Mike Phillips’ quote: ‘Money will come when you are doing the right thing’ struck a chord in me. I decided to banish the shaming of creative pleasures and work some play into my work. This week I spent more time updating my blog than my manuscript. Initially I felt that with zero followers and no real purpose, I was just killing time. Nevertheless, giving my blog a facelift was fun, and allowed me be creative in other ways.
I, like Kay, pick the tasks that seem useful or intriguing. For me, those were baking, which I used as my artist date, (thanks to advice from this group), rereading the Basic Principles, saying yes to freebies, (like dinner with our neighbors instead of writing) and making changes in my home environment.
My MP-3’s have become as much a part of me as my morning prayers. My day feels incomplete without them. I too, have used the pages to spew words, thoughts, and feelings from my psyche, that are better left unsaid, but must be expunged. Each day I feel I am moving closer to becoming the Artist I was created to be. I will take baby steps remembering the Tolstoy quote, ‘True life is lived when tiny changes occur.”
As I journaled this week, I realized that my MP-3’s are like a compost bin. You put this useless stuff inside, leave it there for a while, and like magic, a fresh product is produced that promotes new life. Each week the power of the MP-3’s never cease to amaze me. Julia Cameron was right; the morning pages did change my life, and for that, I am forever grateful for this journey to find my Artist’s way.
Jenn, I love your compost bin analogy!
DeleteGreat blog, too!
DeleteJenn, you said you have no followers of your blog.... please put the URL to your blog here and I would love to sign up for it ... and I bet some other TAW friends will too!!!
DeleteThank you everyone for your kind words. I have a few blog followers due to the April A to Z Blogging Challenge . I believe the more consistent I am in blogging, the more followers I'll have. "If I write it they will come." If any of you would like to visit me you can find me at Scribbles From Jenn
DeleteI, too, found so many delightful 'freebies' in your response, Jenn. Thank you.
DeleteMe too on the Week Six Already?? Never would have thought back on Jan 2 that it would go so fast.
Your blog comments echo my own blog thoughts exactly! Inspires me to give mine a creative face-lift AND keep it going - followers or not.
Love the Tolstoy quote and the compost pile analogy. Gracias.
Jenn, I also loved your compost analogy! You are one clever girl. Ok, now I'm off to check out your blog! Happy Halfway There!
DeleteI agree with Kay, that Jenn's compost analogy is a brilliant way to visualize the 3P exercise.
ReplyDeleteLast Sunday I was having a pouty fit so the husband dragged me down to the beach to chill and as we were
sitting on a sandy cliff taking in the symphony music of the crashing waves and rolling rocks tidal roar I notice
a blowhole off in the near distance, and then the husband
catches the next 2 too,and then we have the biggest darkest dolphins we've ever seen cavorting in front of us and only later realize they were 3 killer whales. I've never seen any whale at Topanga beach and had been reading about them being seen in Palos Verdes thinking how lucky for them so that was just a most amazing miraculous gift to experience.
My daughter's been unemployed for two months. She went on her first job callback Thurday, and landed
the gig, which is a great next step for her career.
It came to be just after I assisted getting off the property a bad energy 'friend' trying to move in on her.
My artist date was to IKEA. I was in search of the perfect fork and succeeded in my quest. Then on Friday
I dragged the husband and daughter to LACMA to the In
Wonderland surrealist art show. We had fun. NOw I've got wilder than ever ideas of what I want to paint/create next. I haven't painted in quite a while.
Maria, lucky you seeing killer whales. What a great way to improve a pouty mood. You are right, it was a well-deserved gift to you. I love IKEA. Who knew they had THE perfect fork.
DeleteVERY cool about the orcas! I have seen only one in my life, and that was in Alaska. What a gift to see them!
DeleteWales! Not dolphins.
DeleteJeepers! Talk about synchronicity! Your pouty fit + thoughtful husband = killer whale sighting. It really was a gift!
DeleteI love this week's chapter on abundance! And I think I especially enjoyed Barbara's writing to start us off with our check-ins. My favorite quote is from Barb, even more than the first quote Barb chose from the chapter. "The image springs to life in my mind: a great creative being, laughing uproariously, spinning, flinging an arm out like a wizard with a wand, hurling stars and worlds and living beings like sparks of light across the dark universe.". I love it! Kinda reminds me of Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia.
ReplyDeleteI found a quote this week that goes along with the chapter. It has a picture of an Indian and says, "Wisdom comes when you start living the life the Creator intended for you." Native Wisdom
Seven years ago my husband and I sold our big house in order to live a dream. Many thought we were foolish, I'm sure, but we've never yet regretted it. We live full time in our 5th wheel and travel to different parts of the country that we want to explore, working at campgrounds or other places that hire workampers, in order to see the sights and have experiences that we would never have had, had we stayed anchored to our home and our familiar town. My synchronicity this week was to realize that I had already been living my dream, all the while I am reading this book! I am thankful to my Creator!
I said all that to say...our finances are very insecure, but as we are finding such joy in our experiences, we also find that all our needs are met and we are able to continue with the dream. This traveling is what keeps me writing and photographing and connecting with people and with nature. It's a big bonus that I am able to have a piano along, too, for those quieter moments at home. I find that music is the most important part of my art, too, and it goes along with all the beauty we're seeing in this gorgeous country.
I'm still finding it very difficult to write 3 pages. I'm feeling lucky to get 2 most mornings. I am constantly interrupted by a large, furry black cat who wants to sit on me. I must throw down my notebook and embrace him. Can't refuse him!
I am so excited for you, Barb, in your decision to change direction in your job choice. Many, many years ago I went through a "mid-life" (age 36) crisis where I needed a change. I thought, college, or piano. Which one? As I pondered, a pastor came to me and said a lady at church had decided to give piano lessons. (He didn't know about my dilemma.) Then my mother, out of the blue, wrote that if I ever wanted to start studying piano again, she would pay for lessons, and then, someone asked me if I would teach their child piano. These 3 events all happening at once showed me I was indeed to take up piano again. I did, and I spent many years happily teaching piano as well as increasing my own learning and repertoire. That synchronicity really stands out to me, a true gift from God. He will do that! So keep us all posted about your changes, Barb! You are truly being led!
Love that image of your cat in the way!
DeleteWow! Love the piano saga!
DeleteWhat wisdom here, Ann. Love the intentionality with which you are journeying through your life. Takes such heaps of courage to let the matters of 'responsibility' go and follow that still, small voice .
DeleteAnd yes, I loved Barb's word-beautiful image too - that flinging arm !!
I agree with Marie, Ann. I love your lifestyle. I love the cat thing. (I, too, have a black cat who thinks he belongs in between me and my pages!) And I love the piano story! Very cool stuff!
DeleteAww, your cat story reminds me of my recently, late, big, fat, black Joey cat. He was always a big part of my morning pages. I always had to toggle between pets and pen. It worked somehow.
DeleteI also love the sound of yours lifestyle. I bow down to your courage to do what you really want, despite what other folks think!
Wow, Barbara, what a week of synchronicity and signs that positive change may be in store. It's a great gift here to catch a glimpse of the good coming into others' lives -- childhood beaches, dolphins, jobs, fat cats, blogs, and more.
ReplyDeleteThis week was a tiny step backward in morning pages -- only three days again! -- and I'm determined to make it to 5 mornings this week. I didn't get the chapter fully read until late in the week, but I'm looking forward to starting my $$ tracking tomorrow.
Artist Date: Not solo, but I took my 13-YO daughter along to hear Naomi Shihab Nye speak here in Dallas. It lifted me up, hearing her poetry and what she had to say about her writer's journey. I felt like a starry-eyed teen at a rock concert -- she is my favorite poet. And it was good to be there with my daughter. I used to read her poetry while she took her bath at night, so it reconnected us in a lovely way for the evening.
I hung curtains (and curtain rods) on two bare windows that have been bugging me for months. It took WAY too much time and involved an electric drill and a few curse words, but it was worth it because now I feel a bit more safe, cozy and normal.
It seems that a gift of TAW is realizing that if I don't address some basic things that have been bothering me, these things will get in the way of the work I want to do. So some of this is just mundane stuff that leads to a better home and work space.
Oh, and I started pushing to finish that stalled chapter book revision (last week's pink-stuffed-animal-octopus sighting), and the octopus, Pinky, found her way back into the story.
So that's my best news.
Love, synchronicity and abundance to all of us.
Stephanie, I agree that sometimes we must get long-delayed projects completed before we can relax and do what we want. I'm sure your pretty curtains are bringing some joy and some peace! Nice surroundings contribute to the creative process.
DeleteStephanie, I loved your post about hanging curtains. I need to hang curtains in the kitchen but factoring in the drill and time factor keeps me prolonging the task. Hooray for you for using the old Nike motto, 'Just Do It'. I only wish you and your drill were here in California with me and my kitchen.
DeleteWow, Stephanie, you are doing reeeeally great! You are jumping over hurdles and really getting it done, lady. Kudos to you!
DeleteHURRAY for PINKY the octopus !!!
DeleteI have been a bit overwhelmed with things that have needed to be accompolished, mostly good things, and did not get a chance to comment last week. I missed MPs 4 days but will get back on the train this week.
ReplyDeleteI started the keeping track of $ spent in a note book to see where it goes. I usually do keep some kind of track but not every time I spend something. So here goes...
As for things I would like to do if I had a lot of money,
it would be to travel. Painting and traveling in Italy comes to mind... My husband and I seem to put that off because of the $ and time. We say someday we will go ... We do travel in this country when we get a block of free time and I love visiting our family and friends who are spread across the USA. We usually by car so we can see everything and have met such wonderful people along the way.
I liked thd Rock task. I collect rocks anyway and have used them to look at, to carry in my pocket, and to feel the smooth soft surface.
My Mom was a real rock hound.
When she had to lighten her load to move, she gave my sister and me some of her "good rocks." There was one that looked like a hunk of rare roast beef. I put it out in the garden by my front door. When she came for a visit she saw it out there and said to me,"What is this good rock doing outside?" I had to bring it in and set it by the fireplace. :) I always chuckle when I remember that. My Mom was a serious rock gal.
I have had a couple of Artist dates the past two weeks.
One was to drive to have lunch with a friend south of where I live. I then drove on to Seattle for a special SCBWI meeting. Usually I go with someone who drives because I am not comfortable driving in Seattle traffic.
Partly I didn't want to break down and partley I did not know my way around. This is a girl who used to drive in NYC and Philadelphia when living back east but out here my husband mostly drives.
Well it felt really good to just do it! And I did and everything went well. Having a new (to me) car was part of it. The car is smaller than my other one and it just feels more managable. You gals who live in CA are probably saying what..?
Maybe I will even try driving in CA next time I'm down there. That was my adventurous Artist date.
The next week I called a good friend who lives on the east coast and I don't get to see as often as I used to. She cannot travel because of MS. We had a wonderful conversation about art and life.
I enjoy reading all the comments and wish we were sitting around having coffee together. I think Margie mentioned that.
Barb, you are always welcome to come out to Sandy Point and walk on our beach.
Jenn , I, too, liked the quote about doing the right thing for you and the money will come.
And Topangamaria, It is so exciting to see the whales!
We see Orcas up here, usually when we are out sailing.
It is always such a thill!
I've seen gray whales up the coast at county line and out on whale watch boat trips. Seeing any whale is a joy to behold but
Deleteseeing the unusal guys we did at Topanga beach was very mystical.
I see dolphins frequently but still get very excited about them too, and if I'm driving, have to pull over. CA driving is a headache maker most days but whatcha gonna do? I try to watch the road and not the water. lol.
Nancy, I too wish we were sitting around having coffee together. I guess that's why I often drink coffee and read everyone's posts.
ReplyDeleteGood things HAVE to be on the way to Barbara, because you can't bring so much good into the lives of others, like she did here, and not get some back for yourself. Get ready Barbara, good things are coming your way!
Glad to see you back here, Nancy. Missed you.
DeleteAnd it is A BIG DEAL to drive in Seattle on your own. FEEL PROUD. I have battled that fear too. Am doing some better, but it still gets my stomach in a ball at times.
And loved that story of the fav rock of your mom's being OUTSIDE and needing to be brought IN. Just made me grin.
I also completely 'get' the driving thing. I went through a fear of driving period a few years back, (and I live in CA, hee hee.). I applaud you for getting out there! That's a powerful artist date!
DeleteOops! I think I relied to Nancy's in the wrong place. But I also agree with you Jenn, that good things HAVE to on the way for Barbara. Hooray!
DeleteSo much goodness from you all. Seems like many of us are toting around some new treasures.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, WOW Barb, huge stuff for you. I will always remember a retreat I was on years ago that was titled Bringing Your SELF to Work where on the last day one woman said, " I see where I have to go. There is a bed of hot coals in front of me and I am barefoot, but I am heading out." If it is possible to circle the wagons around you and cheer from the hilltops via this Platform - and I believe it is - watch for us as we are there!
I have continued on with my MPs - five times again. I look forward to them and miss them when I am late getting to them. Filled up the last pages of my first journal (and it's a big 8 x 11 guy too) so that became my Artist's Date this week - a new journal shopping adventure. I was proud of my intentionality on this AD - one of the first times to really choose a day and time and place ahead of time, but I was a little disappointed that I did not allow myself a bit more luxury. :) Growing up with my older sister's hand-me-downs and going to the back of the store to shop the clearance racks when none of the hand-me-downs worked has me always looking for a bargain. Don't get me wrong ....I don't suffer for anything much at all, but it still was an interesting conversation in my head that day between me and my wants vs needs.
The synchronicity piece is coming to me through many places it seems. So much of my MP reflection combined with conversations over wine or tea plus listening to TED talks are gelling in an interesting way. They continually build around the message of CHOICE. If you have not watched or read Jill Nolte Taylor's Stroke of Insight (she has a book out and an 18 minute TED talk) - it is fascinating! And one of the best explanations of right brain / left brain I have ever heard.
Also a tiny book by Parker Palmer titled Let Your Life Speak is a fabulous tie-in with this work. Towards the end he says ...
"We have places of fear inside of us, but we have other places as well----places with names like trust and hope and faith. We can choose to lead from one of THOSE places, to stand on ground that is not riddled with the fault lines of fear, to move toward others from a place of promise instead of anxiety. As we stand in one of those places, fear may remain close at hand and our spirits may still tremble. But now we stand on ground that will support us, ground from which we can lead others toward a more trustworthy, more hopeful, more faithful way of being in the world."
That is now on my bulletin board.
Am off to add Re-visit your Blog to my To-Do list. Thanks for that, Jenn.
Margie
Margie,
DeleteI LOVE you metaphor: "If it is possible to circle the wagons around you and cheer from the hilltops via this Platform - and I believe it is - watch for us as we are there!" I totally concur with that Barb!
Thank you for that Parker Palmer quote. Good stuff I needed to read.
DeleteWow, yes! That Parker Palmer quote was a tonic I really needed as well. Thanks!
DeleteI also know what you mean about becoming a little disappointed about not giving yourself more luxury. I've beeb realizing that too lately. Baby steps, right? The journal hunt sounds like a fun artist date.
I had such good intentions this week. I loved the nature tasks, but, alas, our terra firma is still covered with snow, so no rocks or flowers to be found. I was going to keep track of my money, but, no. I did my MP's only four days this week. I did not make my intended watercolor class because I was sick. (The group thanked me for staying home!) My time was eaten up by bein sick, visiting kids, and my daughter preparing to be deployed in the military. All this added up to a virtual lost cause in TAW. But there is always next week.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, though, I am encouraged by reading the posts of the group, ready to get back on board.
Oh, my default artist's date was to make cake pops in the shape of balloons and popscicles for my youngest daughter's 21st birthday. Fun!
JanisL,
ReplyDeleteThe campground here is still covered in snow, too, so no rocks, flowers or leaves for me either. Though those things are what I love to collect. I can imagine doing so, at first opportunity!
So sorry you were too sick to attend your watercolor class. But there will be more wonderfulness you can bestow upon yourself in the future. There is indeed, always next week!
DeleteAnn, I'm with you in collecting rocks, leaves, and flowers at first opportunity!
DeleteThank you for your words, Linda. I am looking forward to watercolor tomorrow...even though "I have too much to do."
Just checking in... I don't know what all to say. There's been a lot going on, and I either have to write a lot here to really relay what all's going on, or just check in. I'll try for something down the middle, but right now, I can't see how that will work.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly/synchronistically this chapter is about money. Court date is set to determine the Indian Property probate part of my dad's will. This brings up just how dysfunctional my family of origin is... There is - most likely - no money to be realized in this, so how can soooo much dysfunction show up??? I make a real effort to not be judgmental about the nasty comments and name calling, anger, resentment and greed... YIKES!! I cannot comprehend it. It is like a totally foreign idea.... it does not compute in my brain or spirit... but it DOES freak me out. So, I have to tell myself to love myself and not to judge ME for the judgments I'm feeling, and to just move beyond it all as quickly and as unscathed as I possibly can. Sometimes I say to myself.. WHAT am I doing in this family???
I thank God, almost daily, for the wonderful husband, son and daughter in LOVE (smile) and grand baby that make up my nucleus family. I have a great little family and I really couldn't stand it if this immediate/nucleus family was like my family of origin. One doesn't really have a choice of family of origin, but I also know this is how the Universe gets us to grow far beyond what we would think that we would chose.
See what I meant about this loaded topic??? Anyway, besides all that, I've had a great week... MP's daily and have an artist date set up to watch one of my art DVD's that I don't otherwise take the time to enjoy. Did quite a few of the Tasks... and, I have another painting finished in the studio and the next canvas prepped and designed and ready to go... I'm starting on that today. Yea!!!!
Blessings to you dear hearts...
I've read every entry and have loved doing so.
Ginny
Wow, you had a VERY challenging Chapter 6 week as well! It is interesting, synchronistic, ironic and just plain weird, eh? Well, although I would wish all of us a week of abundance, I suppose weeks like this challenge us and push us forward... right? Sounds like you are pushing through it and had a great week anyway! Hurray for you, Ginny!
DeleteGood for you, Ginny, for rising above the fray of your FoO. And thanking God with you for blessing you with your wonderful family!
DeleteWhen I read Barbara's check-in I thought to myself, now that's the way you do it! You rocked Chapter 6 girlfriend! As did do many of you. I am impressed with our group.
ReplyDeleteFunny, Chapter 6 is the place I have gone AWOL in the past. I suppose that speaks volumes. Also funny, or ironic rather, this week was especially difficult, financially speaking. My husband and I had to make a very tough financial and consequently emotionally charged decision. Add to that my clients were a bit late with payment. But I'll tell you, I pushed through! When the going gets tough, the tough… er… break their piggy banks. Literally. In order to go on my Artist date I bought gas with quarters and cafe coffee with dimes. It actually felt very powerful, believe it or not. I joked about my piggy bank with the poor folks who had to count out my change and everyone was super nice about it. I didn't let the fact that I only had $1.20 in my bank account stop me from nurturing myself and playing. I felt so empowered. I believed it would all be ok.
Guess what? It was ok.
I actually went on yet another cafe artist date a couple of days later. This time with nickels. Did some sketching and daydreaming, while that same $1.20 languished in my account. It was almost like a dare at this point. I felt like I was thumbing my nose at lack!
Next day, money magically appeared in my account (gotta love a client who pays with direct deposit.)
I did write all that down for the "counting" exercise, but I think I'm going to continue throughout the month, as Julia suggests. I think it would be good to keep track of how I do during more normal circumstances.
In addition to those very powerful artist's dates, my morning pages really helped, as they often do, with all the financial and ensuing emotional turmoil I was going through. I was able to dump it all on the pages, gird my loins and get on with the day, as opposed to curling up in the fetal position, whimpering all day.
I wasn't able to get out for walks, but I remembered I had stashed away, some pretty rocks and crystals I had collected over the years. They were stuffed deep in the bowels of a junk drawer. I took them out and chose one or two a day to carry around in my pocket. I played with them and rubbed them when I felt worried or stressed. They were my little secret treasures. They were magic stones.
Sooo, since I'm already well into Chapter 7 and getting really excited about some of the epiphanies I'm already getting, I'm thinking it's safe to say I am sticking to the program this time. Pushing past the looming Chapter 6! I owe a lot of it to you guys. Thanks everyone!
Great entry, Linda!! I can relate! I don't always get paid right on time from clients and occasionally a gallery! Then, faith steps in... it ain't always easy!!!
DeleteThanks Ginny! Yep, it really does take faith sometimes and I seem to be learning more and more how to have it, as we go along! It's been such a relief not to white-knuckle every single thing.
DeleteI identify with the synchronicity of finances, although I still have not tracked my spending. (I guess I am hoping that by admitting that I will get motivated to do it.)
DeleteThanks for sharing your experiences of encouragement, Linda!
Ann was relaying earlier about 'insecure finances'as well and we here are usually dancing close to the edge so to speak. Let's just say your rubbing two nickels together and defiantly having fun is very relatable. BRAVO!
Delete