"God is unlimited in supply. Receiving God's good [is] an act of worship--cooperating with God's plan to manifest goodness in our lives. God is our source, an energy flow that likes to extend itself."
What limits have you placed on yourself?
It was something of a revelation to me this week that the limits I place on myself and what I have the ability to accomplish are actually limits I place on God. If I truly believe that creativity is a spiritual issue, that there is a source of creative power outside myself that I can tap into, and that God desires me to experience creative abundance in my life, then all those things I've told myself I would never have as an artist are things I can have--if I open myself to the possibility of having them.
"Dependence on the creator within is really freedom from all other dependencies.... We are learning to give up idolatry--the worshipful dependency on any person, place or thing. Instead, we place our dependency on the source itself. The source meets our needs through people, places, and things." (emphasis mine)
On whom do you depend?
The affirmation I came up with last week has been my mantra this week: I am my own promised land. I am believing it more and more, even if I'm not completely there yet! I know I have the resources in my own character and in my connection to God to live creatively, to experience what I long to experience, to have the things I most desire in order to serve out my purpose in this world. No one else can do those things for me--and releasing my anger at those I've depended on in the past who failed to "come through" for me has re-energized me to move forward on my own.
"An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing. An artist requires the upkeep of creative solitude. An artist requires the healing of time alone.... We strive to be good, to be nice, to be helpful, to be unselfish. We want to be generous, of service, of the world. But what we really want is to be left alone."
Have you found ways to "fill the well" while letting go of guilt that you are being selfish in the process?
What Cameron calls the Virtue Trap is a tough one for me. This Saturday morning is really the first time all week I've been alone--and it feels so liberating! I love my family and friends, I love feeling needed, I love knowing I'm helping to lighten the burdens of the people I love--but I have so much less to give to anyone else when I have not spent time with ME, alone.
MORNING PAGES, ARTIST DATES, EXERCISES AND TASKS
Morning pages continue to be incredibly clarifying for me. As to my artist date, I took a page from several fellow TAWers this week and hand-made valentines! Very enjoyable. As for the exercises in this chapter, I found great insight in listing the things I'd love to do but am not allowed to do, especially when I came to the realization that it is myself alone who is not allowing me to do them.... And tasks? I find that I explore many of the issues in the task section of each chapter in my morning pages but don't take the time to explore them in the hands-on ways Cameron suggests. I'd like to make sure I do something more with the Week Six tasks.
What about you? How did you do with morning pages, artist dates, exercises and tasks? What have you discovered about the limits you've been placing on yourself? Who or what have you depended on in ways that have inhibited your own growth? What tips do you have to help the rest of us free ourselves from the Virtue Trap? Let us continue to inspire and celebrate each other!
Next week: Recovering a Sense of Abundance
HI!
ReplyDeleteWow, I only missed one day of morning pages. I DO like them. And yes, the truth starts emeging after I've written a page or so.
Artist Date: This week my date was too broken up with errands, but I did enjoy a hardware store visit where I remembered and found things 'on my list' -- so I heard answers. Maybe I ought to give more recognition to my monthly Food and Fun self-allowance.
Significant issues: Figuring out that a person who I've helped raise needs to be outside my inner circle as she has hurtful behavior. I'm also learning to evaluate potential friends and that it's OK to not choose them as important friends if they have a challenging behavior.
I need to feel comfortable and confident with those close to me. I believe that's OK!
Pam
Hi Pam,
DeleteI'm also realizing it's ok to protect yourself from certain people, even though you love them. If they are hurting you, it's ok to set them outside your inner circle, at least until it's safe for them to come back in. I find it funny that it took me so long to also realize that I don't have to allow potential friends in too close if they have challenging behavior, as you put it. I'm really starting to like this "being in control of your own life" thing. It's very OK!
What a great thing to evaluate friends and claim your power not to choose them as important friends. I love this concept. Yay,you!
DeleteBarbara, I loved reading your insights above! I know you've all heard it, but for a long time now I continue to repeat the well worn saying... "put the oxygen mask on your own self first, before helping your child" (in the seat next to you...) This message heard on every flight is exactly THE MESSAGE! You really can't help anyone else if you are passed out from lack of oxygen.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to your words, Barb, "I love my family and friends, I love feeling needed, I love knowing I'm helping to lighten the burdens of the people I love--but I have so much less to give to anyone else when I have not spent time with ME, alone."
I do too!! I love people in general and specific, however, I've known for a long time that I HAVE to have time for me... and more specifically I have to have time in the studio! And, I'm a little (at least) put off if I don't have that. But it took me many, many (well, too many) years to figure that out... but once I finally did...I'M NOT EVER GIVING IT UP AGAIN (except maybe in an emergency situation). These important lessons, once learned, one can never really go back. Once you grow from a 6 year old to a 7 year old... you can never go back!
My thoughts on the creative Creator who wants us to be creative...
In the art world, they say, if you want to know the artist... study their work. Bob Dylan said, If you want to know me, understand my lyrics... So... I think... If you want to know God... look at his creation... it will blow your creative mind!!!
I love having my mind blown!! I love to be living in that space of "this IS a miracle." You all know the quote by Einstein "There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle." God knows, I'm picking the miracle way to see, and live, my life!!
I know one of the things I need to watch for is "over-reading" and I've know this for a long time... however, the reading-fast is eye-opening.
Missed a couple of MPs, no real artist date, (I might make some valentines too, Barb, that sounds fun) but I'm moving along my beautiful path in a beautiful universe and watching out for "what Presents" itself to me.
We've lost a wonderful creative yesterday, Whitney Houston...
I didn't know she was a cousin of Dionne Warwick!
What the World Needs Now.... Is Love, Sweet Love...
It's worth hearing on YouTube... here's the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhlkBTlAHVo
Happy Valentine's Day dear hearts... spread some love around!
Ginny
Ginny,
DeleteThanks for reminding us of that quote by Einstein. I'm also deciding to choose to see everything as a miracle. I hardly ever do this, but I watched Dr. Oz the other day and he spoke of keeping a "gratitude journal," and writing what you are grateful for every day. While I'm not doing that exactly, I started jotting down things I am grateful for during my morning pages and find it very helpful in seeing the little miracles of every day.
Thanks, Linda, for that great idea of a gratefulness journal. Whereas, I like to think of myself as a grateful person, I realize that I have used much of my mp's to "unload." Time to make a change in that!
DeleteHey y'all!
ReplyDeleteI had some powerful insights this week. I realized that all the anger and resentment I had been feeling of late, towards certain loved ones (and not-so-loved ones,) for judging, depriving and not respecting me was really me projecting the anger at MYSELF for judging, depriving and not respecting ME. It all seems very obvious and downright textbook now, but the initial realization knocked me square between the eyes! And although it wasn't the easiest thing to admit to myself, (quite painful in fact,) it was freeing to realize that I'd been giving my power away and that I now have (well, always had) it within myself to achieve and have the things I desire. Apparently there was quite a payoff in blaming other people for being stuck. And like Ginny mentioned, now that I've reclaimed my power I don't think I can ever go back!
Also, I'm starting to see what powerful voodoo the "virtue trap" has been for me. But I'm getting better at dealing with it. Just this week I had an opportunity to put it to the test with a family member. I didn't allow guilt to guide a decision I had to make which resulted in my setting a tough boundary. Of course, that didn't mean I'm wasn't still haunted by some residual guilt. But at least guilt didn't make the decision for me. I'm getting there. I suppose you can say I opted to put the oxygen mask on myself first. As a result I had a clearer head and energy for some of my own, rather intense, personal issues that needed tending to.
Happily, I was able to do morning pages every day this week, which I'm sure was instrumental in gaining the insights I enjoyed this week. I also took myself out to see "Hugo" for my artist's date. I had to travel a wee bit to find a theater that was still showing it. In the past, I might not have gone to the trouble. I would have thought it was a frivolous waste of gas and time and waited to rent it from Netflix. As it turned out, it was worth viewing it in 3D and also fun to fly in the face of my big, fat, parental censor and realize I deserved that treat!
I'm telling you, I am finding it so much easier to feel the love for my artist this week and finding it easier to feel the love for everyone else in my life as a result. So Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!!!! <3 <3 <3
Wow, Linda, ... beautiful!!!
DeleteWhat an image: "... fun to fly in the face of my big, fat, parental censor ..." Go!
DeleteHeee! Thanks Ginny and Stephanie! (0: I never did get around to drawing my censor, way back in the first week, but now I feel a little more inspired to do it.
DeleteI took on a couple big challenges this week, and the
ReplyDeleteArtist Way really helped guide me. I have an intimidating doctor who actually listened to me and is supporting what I'm choosing to do, which is rather miraculous and I went to the Westside scbwi schmooze with a picture book ms. for critique night and got huge positive response. It felt unexpected yet lovely support.
One of the funnier things I noticed doing this week's exercises is my list if I were 20 and had money and if I were 65 and had money were pretty much indentical. I guess whatever age I am, my gypsy heart has always wanted to travel.
I love the Einstein quote. I love that we're meeting like this.
Great to hear that The Artist Way is making such a positive difference for you. I'm finding the same! Also, what a great feeling to get the support for your picture book. That kind of energy can really go a long way! I can relate to that as well.
DeleteThanks to you all for your insights and input, ladies. I especially appreciate the comments about drawing boundaries for people who are "challenging." It looks like I may have a crazy maker returning to my life soon, and I am trying to think and pray about how to deal with this person before she arrives.
ReplyDeleteUp to this point, I have really enjoyed TAW, but I seem to have reached a (temporary?) plateau. I find the tasks just that--tasks. So this week I have done very little with them. Probably not a good idea.
However, I continue my daily MP's, although I can't say that I have gotten any insights as of late.
I am excited about my artist's date, though. I went to--for the first time in my life--a watercolor painting workshop! It is organized by a woman who is very generous with her time and talent, very willing to work with a novice like I am who has no experience and feels (giving myself the benefit of the doubt) that she has no talent. I plan to return and try my hand at it for awhile. It's a wonderful opportunity!
Janis,
DeleteSo happy to hear about the painting!!! Cool!!
How exciting that you went to your first-ever watercolor workshop. Maybe you plateaued so you could save and direct all your energy toward this? I mean, that's a pretty big deal!
DeleteFantastic, you're going to the watercolor workshop! I like what Stephanie said about the reason you might have plateaued. Who knows, you might just feel a rush next week! Keep up the good work!
DeleteThanks for the encouraging remarks! I am going back tomorrow, and this time I am bringing along my eldest daughter, Netsie. How fun! I'm excited.
DeleteI'm enjoying reading everyone's posts and while I haven't been too regular in responding here, I am going to try to do better in the coming weeks!
ReplyDeleteJanis said she'd begun to find the "tasks" just that - tasks - and while I haven't exactly had that experience, I have found myself picking and choosing only the ones that spark my interest. One of the things I did this week was start a visual journal. I made it my artist date to stop on the way home from work on Friday to pick up a new large journal with thick paper for mixed-media and today I started working on it. It's officially a day late to count it as last week's Artist Date, but it was a lot of fun and I'm going to count it anyway, and will make sure to have a different Artist Date this coming week.
During Morning Pages I'd decided that this mixed media journal would be the place where I begin to collect colors and decor for the new house we'll be moving into at the end of the summer. The house and move is just the beginning of many changes that have come at light speed in the last 2 months, and it's exciting to watch the miracles roll in. And while, at the moment, we have no plans for big purchases to decorate this new house, today I enjoyed mapping things out for my new office, choosing colors and thinking about how I will make that space my own.
I think some of the biggest insights for me over the last few weeks have been the importance of taking time - no matter what - for my own creative endeavors. Since the first week or so of Morning Pages, I've tried to hold to the mantra "No Excuses" and rather than excuse myself because of feeling overtired, I find I feel rejuvenated and less frustrated when I make time to do my writing. And somehow, once I'd decided that there would be "no excuses" it became easier to make it happen.
One last comment - I had a flash of insight the other day when I met with a writing friend and was telling her about the Artist's Way. I told her it seemed to be opening doors in a way that I didn't remember the last time I'd read the book (years ago). And the biggest reason, I'm sure, is that this time around, it's the group experience, week after week, that's holds me accountable and forces me to read and reread each week's chapter for an entire week. The last time I read the book, I was reading on my own, and would do the exercises and move on. And I realized, racing through the book is not at all the same and reading week-by-week, as we have. So, thanks, BARB, for getting us started on this journey!
I love your "no excuses" mantra. I believe I shall be adding that to my mantra since the beginning of the year, "make time." Thanks for sharing that. Brilliant!
DeleteI'm also having a similar experience of a deeper, more successful experience with The Artist's Way because of this group. Yes! Thanks Barb for getting us together for this!
Once again I managed to do morning pages, in the morning every day. There was one day when I was feeling uninspired but I pushed myself through to the end of the 3rd page. Who knows what kind of nonsense I wrote. This week I had my best artist date. I went on a long early morning walk with my camera. The light was beautiful and I took photos of whatever caught my eye. I have always been fascinated by the idea of being a tourist in your own town. I felt so energized both physically and mentally by this experience. I decided to approach the rest of the day with same energy I do when I am on vacation. I wrote for an hour or so at a coffee shop far from my house so I wouldn't see anyone I knew. I ended up having a very productive, positive day unhamperd by the usual trivia that gets in the way of my creativity.
ReplyDeleteMost of my wish list was career oriented and my biggest blocker has been my own inaction. I found it interesting that my "mean to myself" list was all about food and how I deny myself the fattening, unhealthy things I love i.e. mac and cheese, potato chips, french fries, caramel sauce, brownies, ice cream. I occasionally treat myself but I guess the trade off is being thinner and health which is not mean. I found that curious. I need to work on the blocked stuff in my morning pages. Also my imaginary lives were so different from my original ones. I wrote them down without thinking.
Here is my synchronicity story of the week. On Friday, I received a form to fill out from my stockbroker about my future financial goals. I cringed at the thought of assigning a number either high or low to my future income.The reaction was visceral. I then took out my journal and wrote something about living in the moment and abundance. Can you imagine my surprise the next day when I opened The Artist's Way to Week 6?
Yes - there is something more powerful about approaching this course with contemplation and intention rather than just reading the book. I just wish we had a better forum to share the group experience.
Happy Valentines to all!!
Wow, sounds like you are really doing great! I also must adopt that idea of being a tourist in my own town. Love that idea to pieces!
DeleteThanks Linda. I've had the tourist in my own town idea for years but it took The Artist's Way to actually get me to take some action. It's so invigorating to look at your surroundings with fresh eyes!
DeleteI'm so glad you got some alone time finally, Barb. And I love Dianne's idea of an visual journal, and June's idea of taking a camera along on her morning walk. So much good inspiration in all these comments, especially reading about the ups and downs (and even plateaus!).
ReplyDeleteI did four days of morning pages again (same as last week, which was an improvement over the prior two weeks). My artist date was non-existent, but I did go with my family and a friend of my daughter's to the Dallas Museum of Art and the Nasher Sculpture Center. I hadn't been there in years. And my choice to go there for our outing was surely influenced by TAW.
I relate big-time to the Virtue Trap. The Virtue Trap, for me, leads to the Resentment Trap. I experienced some anger for a few days after doing the Virtue Trap questions.
This week I noticed some good synchronicity. 1) Freakiest: Sunday, I was on the Southern Methodist University campus for my 13-YO daughter to take a piano theory test. On our way to the parking garage afterward, a little station wagon passed by us. It was filled with a family. In the back, smashed up against the side window, was a child's pink, stuffed-animal octopus -- very rare in the stuffed-animal world. This was significant only to me (though my daughter knew why I stopped in my tracks, too). One of my works in progress that I'd been stalled in revising had, in its first draft, a pink stuffed-animal octopus. It was a nudge from the universe to get going on that chapter book and finish it. 2) Most exciting: On that same day on the way home, we passed a yard sign that said something about Naomi Shihab Nye (my favorite poet). I circled around the block to read it. Turns out she'll be in Dallas this Thursday evening, speaking to the public for free at a local high school! Yay! I'm going! 3) Happiest: We've had this declawed, outdoor stray cat, Minnie, that we've been trying to find a home for (long story -- she was abandoned by the people who used to live in this house). My boy kitty pounced on her, she bit his leg, we took him to a new vet -- having switched vets because we thought the first vet charged us way too much to neuter him. I brought along a photo of Minnie, just in case they knew someone who wanted a declawed, spayed, sweet cat). The vet assistant turned out to be a volunteer for a Cat Rescue organization. She got Minnie put on the top of the waiting list for a foster home, and we dropped her at a vet yesterday to get checked out and then transition into a home!
So, yay for the universe.
And yay for y'all. And for me. And for Barb, for doing this. xo
Dang! You've been synchronicity-ing all over the place! I especially got chills about the pink, stuffed-animal octopus! A nudge for sure! I agree, yay universe! Yay us!
DeleteGood Morning,
ReplyDeleteFigured I was so behind on my check in re: Week Five that I best get to it before I even start my Morning Pages today. Enjoyed all your comments. Thank you for the inspiration .... a morning walk with a camera, paying attn to details (like pink octopi), and that wonderful NO EXCUSES mantra that I will use!
Not sure why last week felt so scattered but it did and this one is not off to a grand start either.
I did get five days of MPs done and an Artist's Date to the Seattle Flower and Garden Show with my Daughter in Love but I have to admit that it was not intentional as an artist's date. I kinda decided it was the perfect A.D. after I went and had not done one for the week which I don't think you can really count.
I am still on a PLATEAU and don't like it there. I experienced some strong insights during those first few weeks and keep waiting for more A-HAs..... but you know, when I reflect on this I kinda think that is my M.O. and what continually gets in my way. I realize these tendencies I have and make a vow to myself to work on them or change them or get better about them and then I slowly slip right back into same-o, same-o.
And .....After doing this week's activities/tasks, I was doing a written check in.... I wrote "It's almost like 'Oh yeah, you know that you do those mean things to yourself but good luck stopping 'em. And the creative block and the payoff for staying blocked ....I am not sure I see myself surmounting those .... and that pisses me off." WOW - good job, Censor. Darn Censor was pulling me down. BUT, first step is realization, right? So ...... onward. Just gotta quiet that nasty voice. I worry that I am not going to get further. And I think that I am in my own way. That my fear of risk has such a strong hold. I will keep working. Thanks for being along on this.
Awesome entry, Stephanie!!
ReplyDeleteDear All,
DeleteDarn and double-darn. Spent a good portion of yesterday morning checking-in here. But when I saw Barb's updating email this morning I figured it did not go through. I often forget to push REPLY first and so I can lose it as it won't publish. To safeguard against that, I have, at times, Copied and Pasted, but did not do that yesterday as it appeared to go through. Guess not as it is not here.
Not sure I can remember it all .....but I did push the 'Like' button for the reminders to pay attn to detail (pink octopi), The Einstein quote and the NO EXCUSES mantra. Thank you!
I mentioned having done my MPs five times but that I was still on a large PLATEAU too and not liking that. No big AHAs for some time. But I wondered aloud if the plateau was of my own desire as I fear getting too close to the edge and stepping off or even looking down or up. The person that gets in the way is me. Fearing that I won't do it right or look silly. So I loved the part in Ch six where she says SILLY is part of being creative.
I decided that my Artist's Date last week was attending Seattle's Flower and Garden Show with my Daughter-in-Love. But I called it that after we went so not sure I can count that. :)
Part of my challenge is taking the extra steps I need to in order to get to new places. On one of last week's MPs, I write something like, "Yeah, yeah, you have said this before, you know this about yourself, you are mean to yourself in these ways, but good luck changing that. You have been at that for years." Sheesh, talk about letting the inner critic have the upper hand! So .... I am stepping closer to the edge maybe - just by virtue of recognizing that.
Anyway, will try to post this again. Hope you are all deep into things that bring you JOY!
And... thanks for the Daughter-In-Love label!! I want to start using this for my own Daughter-In-Love!! Brilliant, Margie!!!
DeleteThanks, again, Barbie, for pulling this together. I find myself excited to read what is going on with everyone! Keeps me motivated, too!
ReplyDeleteMargie, Glad your comment came through this time. What an awesome image change -- to see a plateau instead as a precipice. It could very well be the place from which one takes flight. Thank you for this.
ReplyDelete