"Anger is meant to be listened to [and] acted upon. It is not the action itself. It is action's invitation.... It will always tell us when we have been betrayed. It will always tell us when we have betrayed ourselves. It will always tell us that it is time to act in our own best interests."
Anger is a powerful motivator. Did anything come up for you this week that "pointed the way" for you, that made you aware of action you needed to take? Did you act in your own best interests to take a step that you needed to take?
SYNCHRONICITY
"We all have dark and romantic notions that call to our deepest selves. When we answer that call, when we commit to it, we set in motion the principle that C.G. Jung called synchronicity.... a phenomenon that some of us prefer to ignore: the possibility of an intelligent and responsive universe, acting and reacting in our interests."
Linda shared a great story about shopping synchronicity last week, and Pam told us about meeting up with an old acquaintance who just might help her get a manuscript published. Did anyone "take a small step in the direction of a dream" this week and experience a "synchronous door" flying open? Or were you reminded of any of the "thousand unseen helping hands," in Joseph Campbell's words, that have helped you along the way in your creative life?
CRITICISM AND SHAME
"Many artists begin a piece of work, get along well in it, and then find, as they near completion, that the work seems mysteriously drained of merit. It's no longer worth the trouble."
I had an experience this week, while working on revisions for a manuscript, of feeling that it just wasn't any good and I should forget about doing any more work on it and chuck it. Then I remembered a critique of the story that came from an editor in a face-to-face group setting. Her words about it were blunt, flippant and not at all useful in producing an "aha!" moment that might have helped me see my work in a new light and point me in a new direction for revisions. I still remember how embarrassed I felt. I wondered if my story really was unworthy, or if I was letting that editor's assessment color my own. My answer to myself is that if the story is true to me and my experience and the sharing of it brings me joy, it's worthy--even if no one wants to publish it.
Anyone else ever had a shaming experience from a critic that rocked your confidence?
GROWTH AND SELF-CARE
"As a creative being, you will be more productive when coaxed than when bullied.... Practice being kind to yourself in small, concrete ways.... If you do one nice thing a day for yourself, God will do two more."
It's been a stressful week for me, a lot of things converging to make me feel overwhelmed. I've felt particularly unproductive creatively. AND, it's come up in my morning pages this week that I'm not doing well at self-care--at a time when I most need it! Related to my unproductivity? I can't help but think...
How are you doing at self-care? Do you find that you are more productive when you're taking care of yourself?
MORNING PAGES: Are you finding them helpful?
ARTIST DATE: Are you doing a good job of romancing your inner artist?
WEEK THREE TASKS: Did you find that any of last week's tasks brought significant insights to your creative life?
If you can make the time, check back this week after you've posted your own comment to respond to others' Week 3 experience and to see if someone has responded to yours. There's more of that going on lately. Start a conversation!
Next week's assignment: Week 4, Recovering a Sense of Integrity
I am happy to say that I have been good about doing morning pages, but this week they didn't come so easily. All the more reason to be glad I attempted them.
ReplyDeleteI have been enjoying the artist dates and had two this week: one was a presentation by a writer friend at my local library and one was a photography seminar, also at the library. Love my library!
Self-care is always a tough one so I'm trying to break it into manageable chunks. Fifteen minutes of walking is better than none at all. It may feel a little scattered at times to be hopping from one task or focus to the next, but I feel good that I got at least a little done in many areas. I've even started getting my kids in the groove with what I call Power Quarter Hour (PQH) of cleaning. Fifteen minutes won't kill anyone (even a ten year-old).
I try to do all the tasks and exercises. Some of them are more pertinent/useful than others, but they all inform me in some way. I found a lot of good stuff in the Detective Work exercise (20 questions) and exploring how I felt about myself as a child. In some ways I was far more confident, but I do remember feeling a lot of insecurity as well. I think that's just par for the course for tweens and teens, though. Which is good to remember as I deal with my own teens and their emotional swings.
I have always loved the idea of synchronicity and experienced it the most when I first went away to college. I remember feeling such joy and wonder at the interconnected-ness of my expanding world. I have experienced it a couple times lately and am thankful and in a little awe. A good feeling that I try to acknowledge and not gloss over.
Happy week, everyone.
k
Hello Journeyers,
DeleteCheck-in time. Week two was so fabulous that I had high hopes for this past week. Perhaps my expectations got in the way, but I was disappointed and a bit discouraged. Did not have the A-HAs this past week nor the surges of energy that come with insightful writing, but did complete five sets of MPs. I appreciated Cameron's reminder that there are ebbs and flows, up weeks and down weeks, so kinda took this in stride. As I look back, I realize that Week Two was a snowed-in week. I really could not get out to do much. This past week I had something every single night and with the exception of my book club, every other outing was dealing with support for huge social issues around homelessness, poverty, runaway youth, etc. I was asked to think about so many new ways to help on top of what I already do. I found myself thinking, if I do even HALF of this, I will have NO time to write. One of my monsters since retiring from 33 years of teaching is that voice that asks, "HOW ARE YOU MAKING A DIFFERENCE?" That question was answered so easily every moment I was in the classroom. And now? ..... Oh my, I see where I am almost writing MPs right here. :)
Onto another note ....
Love synchronicity - and I like to call it Woo-Woo or the Holy Spirit. It is helpful to be reminded to watch for it. Underscores the partnership we have with the Great Creator/Universe. And a perfect example was mentioning to a critique group that I was going to take a hiatus to do the TAW journey and Nancy suggested I consider joining this group. (Thank you, Nancy!)
Romancing my inner artist? Didn't do too well on that one. But did take time out to drum as the sun set two nights ago. Have not taken myself to see "The Artist" yet as was my plan. Now that will be romance!
Must scoot. TaTa, All. Stay with us, Nancy. Screw the Shoulds. :)
Margie
Margie
DeleteIt's good to hear that you have strong feelings about those in need.
This week I contributed two clay creations: bowls for the Hunger Bowl program.
I find it interesting and exciting that creative people care! My instructor for the Clay Class frequently brings social issues to our attention -- that's why I gave the bowls. And you know what? I don't know anyone in the group that feels these social issues are inappropriate.
Pam
Thanks Margie.
DeleteNancy
Kay, I love your library too! If any of the rest of you are ever in Camarillo, Ca, visit the library--it's a work of art and a great place to take your Artist on a date. :-)
DeleteMargie, I applaud you for your involvement in social issues and your desire to make a difference. But I'm reminded of the airlines admonition that in case of emergency, fliers are to take care of their own breathing apparatus before helping someone else with theirs. You can best help when you are strong and healthy, and feeding and caring for our Artists can make us even more creative and effective than giving ourselves away without thought for our own self care. This is something I am still learning!
Pam, how great that you used your artistic gifts in the service of a social program. I think that is SO cool!
Thanks, Pam and Nancy and Barbara. I wonder if our creative voices/endeavors often speak to/support the very needs/injustices we see in the world. But agreed, Barbara, that if we are so immersed in the doing, it's hard to hear our creative voice.
DeleteKay, I love your idea about self-care in manageable chunks. I'm going to adopt that strategy!
DeleteMargie, I also applaud you for your altruism. I do agree with Barb, however, that we need to make sure we are taken care of first. A tree won't be able to provide shade and fruit if it's not watered and cared for itself.
Pam, you guys are inspiring me to get more involved myself. It sometimes seems overwhelming, how many people are in need. But there are so many ways we can help. Just have to start somewhere. How fantastic that your creativity could be part of a solution!
Here's my Week Three Check-In
ReplyDeleteI did all but one day's morning pages. I missed that day 'cause I woke up late and needed to get to my clay class -- followed by lunch and studio with fellow artists (2-dimensional ones) and than on to YOGA. Every Wednesday is a full, wonderful day!
I had a hard time with the tasks where we needed to list five people I admire and the list of five people who are dead I'd like to hang out with.
I did, however, use what I made notes about and came up with some traits. Two of the traits may be in conflict with one of the others. One was: I respect those who know their own mind and the other: those who can choose to meet their personal and creative needs first before meeting the needs of others. These two seem to be in conflict with being supportive. I tend to be supportive, but we have a neighbor who may not be doing very well and I haven't called on them or visited. I seem to be on the periphery when it comes to giving aid. Being supportive by comment frequently happens without thought. However, my support can mean that I choose to do what others expect and not tend to my need and time to create.
I was ANGRY this week. I've had a hard time even feeling or believing that I could be angry. I think I've been afraid that I'll be shunned. However, once this week I did express my frustration and anger and wasn't shunned. I guess that tells me that I'm basically OK and people won't hate me even if I get angry.
My artist date turned out weird. I took myself on a walk near my home where I'd never walked before. Then I took myself out for a Starbucks. I decided to sit in the car and look over my sketchbooks. That was OK -- good even. BUT! while I looked at the sketchbooks, I took off my wet socks and turned off the heater to dry them. When I tried to start my car, the battery was dead. Oh, dear... I went into a nearby grocery store and asked customer service for help. They asked if I had jumper cables. I thought I did, but when I checked the car, I didn't. Oh, dear ... On the way back to the store I saw a man -- probably in my retirement (age 71) age group heading for his pick-up truck. Hmmm, I thought, maybe he could help. I actually had the nerve to ask him and he did help me. Yay! I got to my drawing class in time and didn't have to wait forever a half-hour away from home for my sweetheart to get home so I could call him -- that wait could have been over 9 hours!
Pam, I enjoyed hearing about your artist date. Sounds like an adventure! You coped well! It is difficult to ask a complete stranger for help.
DeleteCongratulations on expressing your anger and frustration! That's really hard for me too, and for some of the same reasons. It's been a hard lesson for me to learn that being authentic, even in my anger--which is uncomfortable for me--is a way of showing trust and expressing intimacy in relationships. It's something I continue to work on. My self image as a "nice" person makes it difficult for me to express what I see as "negative" emotions. A hard habit to break--and yet if I really want what I say I want, very necessary...
DeletePam and Barbara, I have similar issues with anger. Barb, I like what you say about being authentic with your feelings as a way of showing trust and intimacy within your relationships. That really rings true for me. I also find it to be a continuing process.
DeleteI am definitely having trouble writing my 3 pages. I can make it to 2, but rarely beyond that. I'm just not a wordy person! I did write each morning, though.
ReplyDeleteArtist's Dates for me are usually finding time to play the piano. Also, I am helping a 19 year old co-worker with her piano, teaching her some theory, etc. That definitely feeds my artist!
Synchronicity? I've been praying in faith about our next job after we are done here. I always ask God to place us wherever He wants us. I've said to Him I want to be in Washington, near the kids, but then I always revert back to "wherever You want us". A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a KOA in another state asking if we would be interested in working there. I said we would like it, got details, etc. I wavered a little, thinking about Washington, then to our surprise, the next week the managing couple said they were coming down our way and would like to take us to lunch! We picked a place, met with them, and we were hired! I am trusting that this is the answer, though it is a surprise. I didn't have to beat on doors to get an answer, it just came. Our next job, starting in April, will be at the Cheyenne KOA, just 130 miles from where we are now. The pay and perks are right, and we will be able to recoup our savings lost while my husband was laid up. (Sorry, that's fairly wordy of me!)
Tasks: I enjoyed thinking about my childhood room. It was my refuge. Mostly I thought about the view from my upstairs windows, looking out at the barn, the road leading down to the river, the neighbor's orchard, and listening to the birds each morning and the coyotes at night. Childhood traits that I see as being of value to me all my life are that I can be alone and function well, and I can manage any circumstances that arise in my life, even if stressful. There is always a way to cope, with the help of my Creator. I could wish to paint a picture of those childhood memories, if I could paint! Aha! Right now I am looking out my bedroom window watching hundreds of sparrows converge on the birdseed I put out for them. That stirs my artist's soul!
Anger: It has never been much of a problem for me. I can get irritated and impatient, but not really angry.
I am looking forward to the new week. What will it bring?
In a two-bedroom house with nine residents, I shared my first childhood room with three younger brothers, my second was the glassed-in front porch of the house, my third--after older kids moved out--was a big room all to myself that I painted peach with an orangey accent wall, and my fourth was a room I got to design when my dad built us a house in the back yard. I had him open it to the stairwell with sliding shojii screens and glued reed mats to an accent wall. So glad my dad let me express my Artist as a high schooler!
DeleteAnn,
DeleteI love how you move forward with your two-pages. I think everything helps. How nice to have piano skills. I tried playing a few years ago and the little I learned was wonderful. I loved the fact that I was making music. Maybe I'll take up playing again. It sounds like a perfect Artist date! Thanks for the inspiration.
Dear Scribbles From Jenn,
DeleteIt's never too late. I've taught several "older" folks. They are usually harder on themselves than they ought to be, but most seemed to really feel excited to be learning again. Do it!
Ann, funny, the thing I remembered most about my childhood room was staring out the window. I don't remember much about the decor, because there wasn't much. I mostly remember it also being my refuge and my place to daydream as I gazed out at the Topanga Canyon rocks, off in the distance.
DeleteI am techno challenged, so just trying to figure out how to read and respond here, has been a tad intimidating, but doable.
ReplyDeleteI did make it to see THE ARTIST. Why was that so hard to do? It took quite some balls for that movie to be made;
b&w, silent, an homage to old movies...who would have thought there'd be an audience? And here it is, up for best picture. There's at least that to learn from it.
The husband and I went to see the Beatrice Wood exhibit
which was inspiring. She's the mama of dada, kept creating amazing pottery even after 100, full of whimsy.
definitely on my who do you admire that are gone list.
"Creativity is the only cure for criticism" spoke especially loudly to me, as well as "they are often
urged to be sensible" and Delacroix's artists seeking perfection quote... BRAVELY ONWARD!!!
I SO identify with you on being techo challenged! I get so frustrated just trying to find the comments to read. But I'm still hanging in here, Barb!!
DeleteThere's a Beatrice Wood workshop/museum in Ojai--is that where you went, topangamaria? Would love to visit there again for an Artist Date--as well as see The Artist! I hadn't heard much about it except that it was up for an academy award. Thanks for the heads up. It sounds like just my cup of tea.
DeleteThe Beatrice Wood exhibit at the Santa Monica Museum of Art was phenomenal. In fact I helped organize a curator led tour and reception there last fall. It was fascinating to be guided through the exhibit by the woman who worked four years organizing the show. Now here is a good synchronicity story: I was having trouble finding a caterer for our reception. I remembered a friend of mine who is an extreme gourmet spoke highly of a woman who catered her parent's anniversary party. Long story short, this caterer had made lunch for Beatrice Wood at her studio. Her mother is a documentary film maker who was doing a project on California ceramicists. Now what are the changes of that?!
DeleteTopangamaria, glad you were able to see "The Arstist." I was going to go today, but it was a bit of a schlep. But after hearing what you said, I think tomorrow I am just going to go ahead and make that schlep.
DeleteAlso, Beatrice Wood, what an inspiration, eh? She's on my list as well!
I saw the Santa Monica Art Museum exhibit of Beatrice, and the thought and effort that went into that show was very evident and much appreciated. Now I need to go to Ojai.
DeleteI have been very good about writing my three pages or more except I don't do it as soon as I wake up. I find the pages very energizing as I force myself to make it a priority. It is very freeing to just write about whatever pops into your mind.
ReplyDeleteMy Artist Date was a little odd. Since I started reading the Pablo Neruda book of poetry, I decided to read the poems out loud. I write picture books so I am always aware that I write for the ear. My audience was my dog who gave me one of those looks as even he could tell the cadence of my speech was off! This was a spur of the moment event but I found it very enlightening. I also think this poetry is probably better in Spanish.
This week's synchronicity story is also strange. Something is in the air. I had lunch with an friend and we were discussing iPad apps. She asked if I heard of Pulse which is an app where you can combine everything you read online or on a kindle in one place. I didn't know about it at all. The next day I received an email from my son saying he had a job interview for a summer internship at Pulse and was 90% sure he would get it!! What are the chances of that? It made me think about so many other examples of synchronity in my life.
I found doing the tasks was an enjoyable trip to my childhood. I always loved the view out of my bedroom window which was an abandoned gray barn surrounded by oak trees, an oddity in the suburbs where I grew up. I still have a pen and ink sketch of it that I did as a teenager. Growing up, I longed to see mountains in the distance an impossibility on the flatness of Long Island. Now I look out my window and see the Santa Monica Mountains. Don't really know how all of this will play out in my creative life. No side effects yet.
MY only anger is that I have not finished the middle grade novel I started. Doing The Artist's Way will hopefully help me reclaim my focus! I feel I should be doing more!!
On to Week 4!!
I LOVE reading aloud! One thing I've been doing for my mom in assisted living is reading aloud to her each time I go, but I love that you read to your dog! It makes it a gift to yourself when you're not sure the recipient appreciates it!
DeleteI'm sure Dudley enjoys Pablo Neruda's odes! Reading aloud is a lost pleasure. One of my fondest memories is the night Mark and I spent reading a book aloud to each other in a cabin in Sequoia National Park. We alternated chapters. It was so much fun. By the way, Adam did get a job offer from Pulse. Synchronicity!
DeleteI, too, remember reading aloud. Of course I read to my kids before they could read, but I also remember reading aloud to them "The Chronicles of Narnia" when they could well have done it themselves. We all enjoyed that, and then they did read the Chronicles to themselves many times over. It really sticks! I have read aloud to my husband, too, "The Shack". Barb, I'm so glad you get to read to your mom. Bet she loves that!
DeleteJune, you have inspired me to start reading aloud again. My husband and I would alternate chapters on books when we first started dating and haven't done it in years. I think I'd like to start doing it again. So much more gratifying than watching movies together... although I do like that too.
DeleteOh, and Barbara, when you read my picture book dummy to our illustrators group, it was the first time I ever really, truly believed it might be any good. You really brought it to life!
Life seemed much fuller this week, and I missed my morning pages two days because I didn't get to them before my day began. Some days they feel more helpful than others ... but I am committed to the process. I read chapter 4 today, which is all about morning pages, and I agree that they can lead to self-discovery, so I am going to keep showing up to do them. I believe the process works ... have seen it work in the past.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get to any of the tasks this week ... but had some wonderful conversations with friends, and I also had a great time yesterday with four tweens ... over Christmas Barb lead a writing workshop for my 2 granddaughters and two of their friends. She was fabulous and they had a ball--it was so gratifying to see them so enthused about writing a story. Yesterday I met with them to read the story outloud, select a title and talk about cover design... and do a photo shoot. There is nothing like kids to give you energy and joy. So much fun ... thanks to Barb for inspiring them and for doing such a great job of weaving the four stories into one story.
We are going to Arizona for a family reunion this week, so I am not sure I will get more tasks done this week ... but I am not giving up.
I do wish this group could be in person--that would be more fun-but I am grateful for everyone's commitment.
Liz, I wish this group could be in person too! But I am thrilled to have become a part of such a wonderful band of merry creatives, who are so giving and sharing.
DeleteI have run out of steam just trying to figure my way around this blog page. But just to report, I did MP everyday but once, so that was good. I'm not feeling any big results from writing them, but could be.
ReplyDeleteMy artist's date was shopping, purchasing candy melts and sticks to make creative cakeballs, which I did yesterday. Fun!
Synchronicity: I belatedly did a task from Week 2, making a list of 10 tiny changes. One change was to learn a new guitar strum, something that I have not even thought of in a very long time because I only recently picked up the guitar to start playing again. The next morning my son talked to me about a song I had played and offered a new strum for it! So I have been working on that.
I also finally got around to writing a long-overdue letter to a friend back East. The next day I received a newsy email from her.
I am challenged at the prospect of not reading this week and am wondering at the strictness of this assignment. Can you give us some input on that, Barb? Thanks.
JanisL,
DeleteHow wonderful for an Artist Date to be baking! I love to bake and never considered that a date even though it is a treat to me. My neighbor gave me some fresh limes and I made a key lime pie, just because I wanted to. I'm going to count that as a date. Thanks!
Janis, I also think baking sounds like a wonderful artist date!
DeleteJenn, I also think baking a key lime pie, just because you wanted to is the quintessential artist date!
Good Morning, All,
ReplyDeleteI, too, am techno challenged topangamaria and JanisL, but I am doing better, thanks to Barb's tutorial. Thanks, Barb.
I did my Morning Pages this week and find them helpfull.
It is a place to just write things down and see what comes out. Sort of like what drawing and painting is for me.
Although I did not have any specific Synchronicity this week, I have experienced it many times in the past. I believe it is being open to God, our creator, to do what He wants us to do. Then one of those gems come to us.
I heard the President of Tyler Art School in Philadelphia who is an artist, say that he always wanted to have a pencil in his hand because he didn't want to miss any idea that might come to him.
I did one of the tasks, remembering my childhood room.
I realized I am using the same antique dresser today that my Dad had refinished for me when I was 4 or 5 yrs old.
I remember, also one Christmas Eve when I woke in the middle of the night and thoughtI heard Santa and his Reindeer on the roof. And then, I looked out my window and saw a blinking red light.(radio towers) I knew it was Rudolph!
Although it was not in my room, I had a table and two little chairs in the dining room where I could draw and paint and write. My Dad had cut the legs of the table down to fit me and the little chairs.I still use the table in my studio, today.
I think, by giving me a place to draw and write, my parents said these are acceptable things to do. Reading and books and libraries were also a major part of my family's life.
Criticism, Shame and maybe anger, at myself:
I had an experience somewhat like you, Barb,of being in a samll group having our stories critiqued by an editor.
My story was too long, which I knew, and she dwelled on that. I felt humiliated and ashamed. She did soften after she saw my portfolio but by then I couldn't hear any of the good things she might have said because my mind just froze. The good thing that came out of that was I found a quiet room and when everyone else went out to shop or tour around, I CUT,CUT,and CUT! That was awhile ago and my story is moving along.
I like Camus comment,"What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger."
On to next week,
Nancy, I was very moved by your memories of childhood. How wonderful that your parents nurtured your artist very early on!
DeleteSynchronocity feels like magic. Love, love, love it.
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed reading the comments for the past few days and am just now getting around to posting an update. It is neat to see threads of similarity in our experiences -- for example, in last week's (I think it was) mentioning of decluttering and clearing out; I did that to my bedroom during week one, and it has improved my life, mood, and ability to relax by a surprising amount.
ReplyDeleteThis week was, I suppose, another Morning Pages fail for me, if I judge success by the number of days I completed them: only two. However, on those two days, I actually did real, first-thing-in-the-morning pages ... and after very little, and very uninterrupted sleep, caused by a sick, wakeful baby.
But I recall something -- from one of Cameron's books? -- about how when we commit to changing for the better, something WILL rise up to stand in our way, sort of like the universe testing our sincerity. Several weeks ago, it was a plumbing problem that caused a laundry problem for me (having all the towels in our house used to sop up water here and there, and then having to wash all those towels after the problem was fixed). This week, it was a baby problem that resulted in sleep problem, and once again a laundry problem caused by all our towels being used to soak up barf. It makes me laugh just typing it.
I can only laugh because last night the baby slept ALL the glorious night, and today I did all the laundry again. And I guess it means we're alive and thriving if we have that many dirty towels.
Synchronicity: Yes! I had torn out a newspaper blurb about Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman coming to speak in Dallas. I knew in my heart that I wouldn't buy tickets, wouldn't go, but I clipped it to our calendar anyway. Early last week, my 13-year-old daughter mentioned that a blurb from her best friend's (from school) book review would be read as part of a librarian's introduction of the Handler and Kalman at the event. I said, "Gosh, I was planning for us to go to that." I got tickets, and we went. It was a hilarious, inspiring talk.
This week is starting out really well, though I just read this evening about the no-reading thing. I have brushed the dog, and now I'm going to bed. It makes me nervous, but nervous not in a terrible way.
I would like to go and read all the comments again here. In a way, that's just like talking. But maybe I'll wait until the week is over.
Until then, sending you good creative and synchronous vibes!
Stephanie, isn't synchronicity wonderful! I find it happening more often, now that I am starting to do things similar to your clipping that event to your calendar. It's like giving yourself permission, and once you do the universe listens.
DeleteWOW! How fabulous you went to see such a great talk, and with your daughter.
DeleteThere was a Maira Kalman art exhibit at the Skirball a year or so ago that was inspirational, but hearing her speak would've been even moreso.
I so wish that for this blog we had a "Like" button... or a "Wow" button, as I would've liked to use it for each entry here!
ReplyDeleteI've missed several days of Morning Pages this week, however, ... I laid in bed for an extra hour and a half this morning, writing out my three pages and then reading Chapter 3. When I finally got up, I said, that.. THAT... was divine... THAT was my Artist Date, even tho I hadn't realize it while it was happening. A gorgeous morning here in the high desert mountains of Idaho, with synchronicity smeared into every crevasse of my life. I'd like to share a bit of that here.
My life has been chuck-full of amazing synchronicity this week... many puzzle pieces are fitting together, where I hadn't see any previous connection. Including this study of TAW! When I read the beginning summation of chapter 3, it said .... "This week may find you dealing with unaccustomed bursts of energy and sharp peaks of anger, joy and grief. You are coming into your power as the illusory hold of your previously accepted limits is shaken. You will be asked to consciously experiment with spiritual open-mindedness."
I'm telling you, this absolutely shocked me!! It was so profound and so "right on" for me. For one thing, I remember when I went through this book many years ago... this chapter on anger ... I don't know... I just couldn't see it!! But, BOOM!!! Yes, I have had several outburst this week which really shocked me, as I am not normally an angry person. I couldn't figure out what was going on! I also have been listening to an interview series of Jennifer Hough this week, and she focuses on being your authentic self. I've known for over 30 years that this is something that is a life-lesson for me. Something that I have struggled to overcome, and so far have not been totally able to! And with more synchronicity from heaven, here is Ms. Cameron pointing this out so beautifully in this chapter.
I want to do the "work" I came here to do. My unique puzzle piece is needed here on the planet right now, and I AM going to be my "complete piece" to the larger puzzle ... as "complete" as I can possibly be, which I can only do if I am willing and able to TRULY be my AUTHENTIC SELF... not what I think others want me to be, or even who they think I am!
I hope when my life is over, my epitaph would read... "She did what she came here to do"... as Wayne Dyer says... Don't die with your music still in you.
May this be true of me.
Blessings to all you beautiful souls,
Ginny
Ginny, your entry made me cry--something I've been doing the last few days with alarming frequency, for reasons I'm not yet sure I understand completely (although I have a clue or two...) My morning pages, written on the bus on the 100 mile trip to the airport this morning, helped me see that I have been untrue to myself in some specific ways, and that I want to stop lying to myself and others about those things. The tears perhaps have to do with fear, perhaps grief at the loss of illusion... Thanks for your powerful comments.
DeleteI agree with you Ginny, we do NEED a "Like" or "Wow" button :D I also like your epitaph and am hopeful that we are all able to complete what we came here to do.
DeleteThanks, Barbara... that means a lot to me. Do you think the synchronicity could even extend to how much we are feeling the same thing? Maybe so much more than we could even dream of. There is always too much to write here... and who would have the time to read it all... wouldn't it be nice to get to do this in real time... face to face. I bet a lot more is going on here than we can even imagine.
DeleteGinny, I feel like I am in good company with people who are still struggling to be their authentic self. I am sometimes amazed to realize that I haven't been. I fooled myself for so long that I was, but a light has been shone on the fact that I need a lot of work in this area. Your words really spoke to me! I am pumped! I want to be a my complete unique piece to the larger puzzle too!
DeleteI am checking in for weeks two and three, despite all the obstacles the powers of evil threw in my way on my journey to free my Artist.
ReplyDeleteBeginning with the positive, I did my morning pages, which I call the MP-3’s, all seven days in week two, but only five days in week 3. The MP-3’s are incredibly helpful in keeping me clear and focused on the real tasks vs. the imaginary ones. I also have been decluttering and cleaning out drawers, desks, etc., around the house. I think completing the MP-3’s consistently cleans out my head, which in turn allows me to clean out my environment.
During Week 2, I took myself on a wonderful date to the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles. I have wanted to go there for years, and T.A.W. was the catalyst I needed. Week 3, I bought new linen which just so happened to be the same colors as my childhood bedroom. Which I guess is SYNCHRONCICITY that I did not realize I experienced until just this moment!
I loved the tasks from week 3. Listing the five traits I liked about myself as a child, showed me how I have carried the childlike things I loved into adulthood. The DETECTIVE WORK opened my eyes to some ugly truths and the realization that I send far too much time helping others build their dreams while mine go unfinished. This new revelation will allow me to move towards elimination of those destructive actions. I especially enjoyed completing the five dead people I wish I had met task. I allowed myself to imagine what questions, I would ask poets like Phyllis Wheatley or leaders like George Washington. This exercise was a pleasant time of daydreaming, which also happened to be a wish of mine from the DETECTIVE WORK.
As for the other side of T.A.W., the past two-weeks have been tumultuous. I experienced everything from annoying interruptions, like my son and I both damaging our glasses in one week, to major ones like my husband’s car being totaled. Although the push to manage all of these issues hindered my writing, I did not let it hinder my MP-3’s. I think they are what kept me sane during this time. In this process I experienced, ANGER that I could not get it all done and still write. I felt SHAME that over a week passed before I wrote anything, but the MP-3’s, and CRITICISM because it is what blocked people do.
In the end, I did manage to have SELF-CARE by purchasing new bedding and hanging new curtains in my bathroom. Walking in the bedroom makes me smile, which is what I need, to continue to free the Artist in me.
This process reminds me of giving birth. There is much to do to prepare for the new ‘child’. I know she is in there, growing, developing, and getting stronger so she can be born. I do not know the exact date she will make her debut into the world, but I do know she is there and I will nourish her until she is ready. I also know what I will call her. I will call her Artist.
Another beautiful entry... and I love that MP-3, Jenn!!! Now there is some creativity!!
DeleteMP-3! I love it!
DeleteJenn, your entry really spoke to me. The whole thing. But I especially loved how you mentioned this process being like giving birth and preparing for the new child. What a powerful metaphor for what we are doing here!
Thank you Ginny and Linda! Writing is such a solitary activity. As a former first grade teacher, I was accustomed to getting accolades on a minute-by-minute basis. As an author, those accolades come few and far between. Thank you both, for giving me a warm *hug* today.
DeleteIt's wonderful hearing from all of you! I've been mostly following the threads of comments, but have felt serious time-crunch these last few weeks, so have kept myself from replying here, just to save time. I'm still going to try to make this short, but I just wanted to check in to say that even while I'm not completely "participating" in the on-line group, I'm trying to stay focused on the book and the morning pages. I've had some fails - a few days when I just don't have time enough to squeeze in a full 3 pages, but I remind myself that I'm moving ahead, and I try to stay focused on making those pages do their work for me, reminding myself that a missed day isn't the end of the world and that I must pick up where I left off and keep moving on. It seems to be working for me. Lots of changes are afoot and I'm anxious to "honor" the opportunities that are ahead by taking myself and my writing seriously.
ReplyDeleteI've been focusing a lot on the chapter titles and reflecting on what that means to me and the potential held within those chapter title words. There's a lot there to reflect on, and a lot of power, too.
Last week's Artist Date was a grabbing at straws. I had no time, and was out of town, but decided to run over to Barnes and Noble and search for a magazine or a book that would inspire a few new decorating ideas. Since then, I've enjoyed browsing through the images and feel proud of myself for not letting that Artist Date slip away without a fight!
In some ways, those kinds of moments are examples of "recovering my sense of integrity." I'm not willing to give in and let other things steal the time I need to do the things that will help me tap in to the creative gifts I want to be a good steward of.
Happy weeks to all!
Dianne, good for you for fighting for the Artist's Date and doing all you can to continue to move ahead. Some days, heck some weeks are easier than others. I'm struggling with guilt feelings when I don't stay on target, but posts like yours are a salve to my spirit. Thanks!
DeleteGetting this in right under the wire! This week was quite the challenge for me. Talk about anger, as I began to ready myself for this very late check-in today, I was filled with it and with feelings of being overwhelmed and being a failure as I had missed 4 days of morning pages due to three very intense client jobs all deadlining around the same time. All nighters and poor dietary habits ensued. Even my attempt at going to Starbucks for a quick artist date, a few days ago, ended up with me panicking and working at the cafe instead of the sketching and playing I had planned.
ReplyDeleteAll is not lost, however! During morning pages today, I had an epiphany. I realized that anger, guilt and shame over falling behind on TAW were not only the reasons I was feeling like a failure but possibly the reason I had quit TAW in the past.
So I sat down today and finished up my tasks for week 3 (even though I "should" have been doing week 4 by now.) Then I took myself out for a coffee and a trip to a comic book store I had never been to before. By the time I was done I felt calmer and realized that, hey, life happens and I can catch up. I'll just do the reading deprivation next week. No harm done. As much as I want to do everything to the letter, the important thing that I gain insight, self nurturing and stop being so critical of myself. Just keep moving forward.
Then it occurred to me that even though I was knee-deep in deadlines this past week and not taking very good care of myself, I did manage to take myself out for a walk a couple of days. Which doesn't sound like much but in the past I wouldn't have even done that. So, maybe I actually am getting a little better at self care, thanks to TAW.
Also, after reading everyone's check-in I began to feel even better. Knowing that I am sharing this experience with all you wonderful peeps and realizing that we are all having similar experiences, negative and positive, helps me keep on keeping on! I'm in great company.
Thanks to everyone for sharing and helping me realize that this journey is worthwhile and very, very powerful.
Linda --
ReplyDeleteWhat is this 'should' crap?! If we can, we do. If we avoid TAW, try to figure out how come. Some of the realities of life just get in the way -- I suggest you make sure you take care of yourself. If you miss some TAW, but do a lot of it, I think you'll still find a lot of the benefits.
In another course: a Mind and Body Stress class, I developed the following affirmation: It's OK to take time to be creative. I struggle with it, because it's my habit to take care of other stuff and people first. I guess I need to learn and re-learn and learn again, that I do better if I take care of me. Sometimes, 'me first' is essential and allows the creative stuff to flow.
I've read and re-arranged some of the words in the Artist's Prayer and I think by reading it every day for a week will help it sink into my brain and soul.
two phrases that seem to fit this commentary:
Help me nurture and encourage and understand fears of myself and others
&
Help me create and know that my creations are a result of your (the Creator's) influence and design and are an act of worship.
Without taking the time to create, these phrases of the prayer are just empty words.
Take care,
Pam
Pam,
DeleteI just now saw your reply! Thanks so much! Yes, good advice for sure. I do definitely know that the word "should" is my nemesis. But it's losing more and more power over me as the course goes on. I also agree that self-care is key! That is also getting easier. I am finally starting to feel like I deserve to take care and nurture myself. Who knows better how to nurture you than you, right?
The prayer is one of the things I put aside for later, but I think (inspired by you) I might just get to it today!
Thanks again,
Linda
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